Entry 183 - Hey?! Where’d The 'Box Go?

Hey?! Where’d The 'Box Go?

On Summer vacation, of course.

Yep, been enjoying the great outdoors here, getting a good tan and generally drinking in my new surroundings. What do I mean by surroundings, you ask? Well, beer, for one. Beer is awesome. I've also been enjoying the flora and fauna of the Texas Hill Country.

I’ve seen more stars than I have in years, including what looked to be a Flaming Winnebago reentering the atmosphere this past Saturday night. Ask my brother, he was there. I was about 2.75 sheets to the wind at the time, so I wondered aloud if the Free Mexican Air Force now had a space program, but I am reasonably sure it wasn’t a beer-and-dehydration-induced hallucination. Whatever it was, it was large and green and on fire; to wit, it kicked ass. The night sky is spectacular out here. I can also see the Milky Way pretty much every night.

Back to the point. Summer vacation always produces photos: some desirable, and–at least in my experience–some incriminating. These are both, really, most taken off-hand and in the best fashion of the random photographer. Anyways, here’s where I make with some pictures. There’ll be none of me in any easily identifiable compositions, as I am on the lam and don’t need the hassle from five-oh.

Some Photos

A. The Hat. It’s a ranchers hat, and it keeps the holy-shit-I’m-fuggin-on-fire! sun off your melon. Pair it with my recently reacquired prescription sunglasses (packed under S for miscellaneous) and you have quite the stylish Texas getup, if I do say so myself. Okay, well, maybe you have to be here awhile to appreciate it. Okay, Okay—I only wear it on weekends. Alone. In the tub.

B. Birkenstock Tan. Fairly self-explanatory, no? And yes, before you get all weird on me, I was born with semi-webbed toes. I’m an excellent swimmer, and I can pick up a hammer with my feet. Yeap. You're impressed.

C. Wasp Addendum. These two choice shots are ones I got of a Texas Red Wasp up close, after I had nuked him with a spray bottle of Popov vodka. He was stumbly-bumbly, so he let me get close, but I almost got the shit stung outta me as he sobered up.

D. This is a close-up of yours truly, taken surreptitiously by my brother while we were drinking large amounts of domestic beer. Ladies – note the azure blue eyes; They’re the real deal. (Ignore the dilated pupils.)

E. My Brother and his fish. We spent a few days in a row fishing for what amounted to bait, and then I caught a 10” Catfish. “Woot!” I said, “I caught the biggest fish and you suck!” Of course, minutes later he turns around and catches this 3-pound Bass, and proceeds to brag about it for the remainder of the visit. In fact I’m sure there’s an email in my inbox that has something to do with that fish. Dammit. I will have my revenge.

More to come when I get a new camera; the $400 one I currently have took a spill into the drink and only produces photos like this one:

Fucking gravity.

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